Imagine the scene–you’re cuddled up on the couch watching a cartoon with your 3 year old when they suddenly GASP and clap their hands over their eyes. “Mama, I don’t like that scary dragon!!!” they yell. You quickly switch to a new episode and give your little one a hug to help calm them down. But you’re left wondering…what happened here? Why was your little one so afraid of something now that had never bothered them before?

A key aspect of choosing media content that is appropriate and interesting to your child is understanding what they are afraid of at different ages. Changing fears across childhood are directly related to changes in children’s experience of the world based on their stage of brain development. Generally, children experience the world in a concrete way during infancy (ages 0-2). As they enter early childhood (approximately ages 2-7), they begin to develop a sense of imagination and increased memory. Through middle childhood (around ages 7-12), they become capable of distinguishing between fantasy and reality and develop a stronger ability to store information long-term. Finally, in adolescence (ages 12 and beyond), they develop the capacity for abstract thinking. 

Let’s break it down further to understand what exactly kids typically fear at different ages:

Infancy (ages 0-2)

Starting from birth, infants rely entirely on their concrete experiences of the world. What they see is all they know, and when something comforting or pleasing is out of sight that can be upsetting. Children in this earliest stage of cognitive development are not able to make predictions about what could happen. All they know is what happens. For example, when a caregiver leaves they are not capable of predicting that the caregiver may return. The child just knows that the caregiver is no longer present. For this reason, children under the age of two find concrete experiences in their daily lives like encountering strangers, hearing loud noises, seeing a sudden movement, or watching a caregiver leave to be scary. 

Early childhood (ages 2-7)

In early childhood, children begin to develop an imagination. However, they cannot adequately and accurately determine what is real and what is fake. In this stage, anything could happen. Children in the early childhood stage fear both concrete things like the dark and large animals as well as fantastical things that could possibly be real like monsters, witches, and dragons. They are likely to be afraid of something that looks scary but is actually harmless. Children in this age group also have stronger memory abilities and can make predictions, so they may remain afraid even after the experience (or show) is over. 

Middle childhood (ages 7-12)

Once children reach middle childhood, they are able to distinguish between fantasy and reality. They no longer rely only on what they see, but can understand implied information. Children in this age group rely less on appearance and more on destructive potential (like the behavior of a character). For this reason, they may fear implied dangers suggested by spooky music and suspenseful scenes. Additionally, they begin to comprehend realistic fears like natural disasters, illnesses, personal injury, crime, and separation from friends and family. 

Adolescence (ages 12+)

By adolescence, children have developed the capacity to think about abstract concepts. This leads to additional fears about things like economic problems, politics, and global issues such as war. They can rely on both learned knowledge and personal experiences. Adolescents also rely heavily on their social relationships for a sense of stability, so they begin to fear themes like social isolation and rejection in addition to fears of personal injury, destruction, crime, and illness. 

Keep in mind that this information is based on general progressions of children’s development, and your individual child’s experience may differ slightly. Come back to the blog on Wednesday for a research deep dive about what’s scary. On Friday, we’ll share some actionable tips about how to choose media that doesn’t scare your child and how to help them cope if they do have a frightening encounter. 

Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf? Most likely a 3-7 year old. 

What can you do about it? Come back Friday to find out! Subscribe for updates below!